The Fine Art of Sucking Up to Your Boss
Forget about complimenting the boss' tie or her choice in shoes. And if you're thinking of picking the head honcho up a scone and coffee on your way into work, think again.
There's an art to sucking up, and if the boss — or your co-workers — can figure out what you're up to, you're not doing it right. More importantly, it will backfire. Your goal is to develop trust between you and your manager since the projects you work on and whether you get promoted is directly tied to your relationship with him or her.
So while everyone calls it something different, it's key to your success at work. "I call this self-survival," says Faith Ralston, an organizational leadership coach. "It's not fun to play the game, but if you do it to succeed then you're not just doing it to make the boss feel good."
The key is being covert. First up, figure out your boss' style and adapt to it. This encompasses everything from how your boss talks and works — very fast and direct or slow and methodical — to how much daily communication he or she wants. "You build rapport every time you match energy," says Ralston.
Also, give your boss the type of work he or she wants. If your manager prefers reports to include minute details, then provide those details. It may not be the way you prefer to work, but it's what your boss wants and that's all that matters. Don't complain or fight her about it, either. Nobody wants to work with a fighter.
When pitching the boss ideas or offering input, consider your presentation. In other words, don't blurt out, "I have a better idea." Instead, make it seem like the boss' idea. "You'll get more from the people in positions to enhance your career by promoting the boss, not fighting the boss," says John Hoover, an executive coach at Partners in Human Resources Int.
To accomplish this, you might say, "That was a great idea you had last week about the sales strategy. I thought about what you said and put together some ways to execute it based on your ideas." Along the same lines, ask for permission to offer input on the boss' idea. One way of doing that is by saying, "Can I give you some ideas that might enhance this project?" Or, "Would you be open to a different opinion than the one we're talking about."
If you ask for permission to offer your thoughts, your manager will rarely say no. And you gain brownie points because you're showing deference to your boss' position. Another trick: Pay attention to timing. Read when the boss is in a good or bad mood, and work the good side.
The larger issue at hand is respecting the boss' position. This is a new concept to many people, particularly those employees who are right out of school and are used to working independently. You might try saying something like, "I have these ideas, but I will defer to your decision."
If all this feels icky, just hold your nose and remember it's about career advancement. And that's something most people can support.
posted by Paschal Baute at 4:33 AM
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7 Comments:
test by Dr. B
Oh it does seems so icky!! We all hear people make fun of those who do "suck up" to the boss or "brown nose" as it's often called where I work. The sad thing is...the article is very acurate. When you sit back and watch those who do suck up and those who don't, generally, those who do move along in the company so much quicker than those who don't.
I don't care for my boss so I find it hard to suck up to them. Overall the article is correct though, the more you suck up to your boss the more brownie points you get. While mos people see it as a negative approach of moving up it is a way that works.
I do not believe in sucking up to the boss. I never have and probably never will. Fortunately, I have a two bosses that I work for and our relationship is great. I know how they work and we all work well together. The article basically says that you need to learn how your boss works best and that is true. I know how to read both of my bosses and that helps me in so many ways. I try to make my work environment as happy as possible by getting along with my bosses, but not sucking up to them. You always work best if you are happy with the work environment that you are in.
Kimberly Combs
Nobody likes to be called a "suck-up." We've all seen those employees that just pour it on so thick that it makes you nauseous. I agree that if you want to "suck up" effectively it should be subtle. I think it's tacky for employees to brag on the bosses shirt or carry the bosses coffee. And when the boss turns around and favors that employee, it depletes company morale. At some point we've all been discouraged in that we have worked our butts off on a certain project or just in the day to day grind only for our boss to give the credit or the promotion to the suck up. I think it only smart for dedicated employees to buy into the bosses way of doing things and go with it, if it doesn't directly go against their personal grain. Thus, the whole boss/employee relationship is so pivotal it can change from day to day.
Valerie Carr
Although I understand what the article is saying I am the type of person that is constantly doing kind and helpful things for people, including my bosses. Others may consider that sucking up but that is my personality. I do believe that being kind and helpful added to doing your job will help you to grow in the company, but I don't just think "sucking up" will guarantee that you will advance within the company, sucking up will only give the boss temporary satisfaction if you aren't completing the task at hand.
I have never been a person to suck up to anybody but I have learned that it is not as bad as I thought. It is not very good to always be on your boss bad side. I agree with the articile, there are ways to get your point across and not make your boss angry. If you work with your boss and not against him or her your will come out on top.
Jerri
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