Sunday, March 20, 2005

Your story: an incredible giftedness: YOU

Once upon a time, a man loved a woman. She loved him too. They made love. Out of the joy of that moment, something wonderful happened, a miracle that we can scarcely even after five centuries of science hardly understand.

Your mother's tiny egg, no bigger than the head of a needle, was met and pierced by your father’s tiny, tiny sperm. Tha t tiny speck was one thousandth the size of your momma’s waiting ye arning eager egg. Your father brought in that tiny tiny speck of maleness, his total DNA, amounting to 3 billion digits. That met your moth er’s DNA, also of a different 3 billion digits.

Out of that joining was the very first spark of your life. At that moment the fertilized egg was throbbing with new energy of a DNA never before imagined in the cosmos. At that moment, every single characteristic of who you are today was contained: the size of your nose, the color of your eyes, the length of your body, every part that you now have was there in your genes, so tiny that onl y a microscope could find it.

Consider that moment did not have to happen. But it did, and you are here today. The miracle of your conception you can never grasp fully enough. You did not have to happen. But th at spark did happen. There followed the next miracle as that tiny egg now throbbing with life attached itself to the uterine wall of your m other's body, after a little. But only after you had already multip lied many many times. The tiny egg that was you needed food and found a pla ce to get it inside your mother.

You grew and grew and grew for nine whole months, and every step of that was also a miracle. It did not have to happen, but it did. You did. After that long nesting, you --now weighing an incredible six pounds or so, were ready to emerge into the world. There was pain, great pain, blood and tearing, but suddenly, with a little help, there you were, a helpless rosy blood fluid - covered inf ant, crying at the coldness of the real world.

Another miracle. It did no t have to happen. Your lungs had to be cleared of fluid, you had to be inspected. But your tiny mouth was already eager for the nipple, an d you began to drink the milk of your mother's breast when you had no other awareness. For many months, all you did was eat, sleep, poop, and cry; eat, sleep and poop, eat sleep poop cry. And someone was there every hour for you, if not every minute for days and months and several years to make s ure you ate, and were kept clean of your poop.

The miracle that you were continued. You opened your eyes and looked and begin to see, and smell, and taste, and cry, and poop. See, smell, sleep, cry, poop. You are today a walking miracle who did not deserve to be here. Your life is an incredible gift.

The greatest question in life is Why Are You Here at All. You did not have to be, and Yet, here you are. Why? Out of the great mother mystery matrix of millions and billions of years, here on this planet is each of you. Here I am, conscious of my unique life and I cannot even tell you why or how I am aware. Every step or development of your life is a miracle. Undeserved.

What could any of you, any of us do to deserve the incredible gift of life that we have. And look what we have survived, hook or crook, again, often undeserv edly so. How many Guardian Angels have been protected this small child, thi s testing, climbing, reaching mischievous little boy that you were. This re bellious teen-ager. This boy child/man We are daily, each morni ng we awaken, faced once more with the Giftedness of Life. How shall we spe nd it? What shall I do with my life today. 1000 waking minutes per day? 7 000 waking minutes per week.

Now there is a hole in our heart lo nging for Something Else. Love, Ecstasy, Passion, Some Great fulfillment. We may have deepened, enlarged that hole by drugs, so we have created a h uge craving for Something More. Now here is the basic choice of human life. We shall always have Something Missing. We can and have often focused on that or we can choose to focus instead on the Miracle we are par t of. Each of us choose. Daily, moment by moment.

Will you cheat the Gift? Do you choose to embrace the giftedness of life, the miracle th at you are, the longing of love you are called into. Or will you choose to stay incomplete with always a sense of Missing Something. One is Light, the other is Darkness. Resentment or Hope. Imagine! Choose! Ever y minute of your life you choose to focus, either on What's Missing, or on the Miracle that calls you out of yourselves into Giftedness, celebration, love, joy, hope and newness.

We chooose every minute either to focus on something missing or something given and present. Miracles are all around us, but we are too busy or unaware to notice. Missing or Giftedness.

Meditation by Paschal Baute for the Fierce Landscape program at the County Detention Center, 2/21/05 -