Q. How do I get married legally in Kentucky?
A. You and your partner need a license (cost about $35.00) from any county clerk, with a picture ID and provide necessary information such as your birthdays and parents names. Then you need a member of the clergy, justice of the peace, or county Judge. You will need one of these as an officiant, a license and two adult witnesses to be legally married anywhere in Kentucky.

Q. How do I go about choosing a minister or officiant for our wedding?
A. If you plan a church wedding, the minister there will usually officiate. If not, then you will decide that you want a minister / officiant to lead you through the usual or traditional simple vows, or you want to find someone who will help design a ceremony that honors your faith values while uniquely celebrating your love in a way most suitable to you preferences.

Q. If I do not plan a church wedding, how do I find another appropriate place?
A. Allow plenty of time. Ask your friends. Check local listings or the Internet for professional wedding ministers or those who specialize. If you have found a minister who officiates at a lot of weddings, he can offer suggestions.

Q. How Can I find a minister / officiant who will respect my own faith values?
A. If you want a minister who will help you truly celebrate the Mystery of Love you are embracing with your vows, plan ahead and do not wait until you have only a few weeks. You will need to search and shop around. Ask friends, ask any clergy you know or can question, look in the Yellow Pages or a wedding guide, or use google. .

Q. What if I am not sure what kind of wedding ceremony we want to have?
A. Look for flexibility in the minister. See if allows your own vows and choices. Talk to several. Some officiants have their own preferences, others provide a worksheet of outline for you to make your own selections.

Q. How can a minister / officiant help plan my wedding?
A/ He will offer a worksheet or outline of choices and respect your wishes. If your ceremony or wedding place is non-traditional, you will want an interfaith minister comfortable with accepting your own faith values, whatever they happen to be. The more experience he has in weddings, the more comfortable he will be in meeting your needs and in the planning itself.

Q. What should I expect to pay for the services of a minister / officiant in Kentucky?
A. In Kentucky, expect to pay from $150 to $400.00 depending on the amount of planning. And travel needed. In some areas the expected fee is $300.00. Churches vary widely on what they charge for weddings.

Q. What services can I expect from a minister / officiant ?
A. Planning to fit your desires and needs; Help you select the kind of ceremony you want; Flexibility, willing and enthusiastic celebration of your love; his experience should offer you a sense of trust and comfort. Some ministers are willing to conduct the rehearsal. If this is a requirement, ask up front about it. If it involves an extra trip, there may be additional fee.

Q. Are there personal qualifies to look for?
A. Yes. Do you like the minister? Is his voice soothing, boring or sharp? Will his wedding attire fit your colors and ensemble? It is okay to ask to see his robes. Will his voice carry to a small or large group, even to the last row, without amplification? Are you comfortable with him? Does he inspire trust? Is he amenable to changes? Does he welcome questions. Does he give you choices?

Q. What is your minister / Officiant’s credentials, experience and background?
A. He or she should be legally qualified to witness your wedding. The government does not issue license for ministers. Some persons want to know if he or she is only a wedding minister. What kind of pastoral work is his regular ministry is a fair question.

Q. Is pre-marital counseling required or suggested?
A. Some ministers have requirements. Ask. Some have marital counseling experience sufficient to offer some suggestions or pearls of practical wisdom, if asked. Dr, Baute offers a short marital preparation package, , Marriage 101 described elsewhere.

Q. Are there special requirements.
A. If you are already living together, some ministers will not marry you, others may require you to move apart, and others have no such demands. Some may want to inquire whether you have discussed children and which faith tradition you intend to raise children. It depends.

Q. Do you expect the minister / officiant to conduct the rehearsal?
A. This is not usually a part of the job, so ask. If extra time and travel is necessary for this task you and you not have a master of ceremonies for the rehearsal, this might be an additional fee. Typically, a brief walk through of the wedding party is preferred and can be done anywhere.

Q. Should I invite the minister to the rehearsal dinner and/or the reception?
A. It depends. If the minister has a lengthy relationship with the family, probably yes. Some like to be invited, for others it makes no difference. It does not hurt to ask.

Q. Does your officiant have a back-up in case of emergency?
A. Yes, ask this. At least once each season I am sought to officiate at a wedding somewhere of persons I have never met or seen because the minister did not show and they cannot reach him. If travel to your wedding is required, you will want your minister to arrive early. A fender bender in traffic can result in a big delay.

Q. Will you have a chance to read and review what you will be saying in the ceremony?
A. Most ministers are flexible and encourage you to help plan the wedding and are willing to review every part of it with you. If not, look elsewhere.

Q. Will the minister work with the other vendors, musicians, photographers?
A. It is better to ask about this in larger weddings to see if the officiant has preferences. Some do not want flash bulbs during the ceremony, or during the vows. Some photographers have practically gotten in my face to take pictures. Some placed themselves between guests and the bride and groom. Others simply rant all over the place. Ask, or have the photographer ask your minister.

Q. How many times do we meet with the minister / officiant?
A. Most will want to meet at least once for planning, so you can get to know each other. Some might require or ask for more.

Q. If a wedding snag comes up, a wedding stopper, will the minister help?
A. I try to get an agreement that if this happens, both agree to talk. Snags happen, unhappy news comes up, anyone can get “cold feet” at the prospect of marriage for life.”Agree that you will not throw in the towel without talking with me, is what I ask. Most ministers have seen a lot of hesitation and can be counted oil to offer some expert advice or simply good listening.

Q. If we are merging families, can we include children in the ceremony?
A. Yes. Ministers who officiate a lot of weddings have several ways to honor the children and even give them a speaking role in the new merging family. Ask.

Q. Can we design our own ceremony?
A. This is preferred. The minister / officiant should be willing to accommodate your wishes. If you want something really different , like being wed on a mountain top, or on the beach, or jumping from a plane, you should figure on shopping for a young adventurous minister.

Q. Can we count on the minister / officiant for other pastoral help?
A. This depends, although ssually, yes. Ask. Most are ready to extend pastoral services to all sorts of pastoral needs, hospital visits, baptisms, funerals, renewal of vows, and various counseling.

Q. Will you marry us if we are of different faiths, or if one of us has been divorced?
A. Ministers vary. Ask. It children are expected most ministers will expect you to discuss which faith the children will be raised in.

Q. Can we choose non-religious readings or music?
A. This depends. Ask.

Q. Should we bring you the marriage license before the wedding date?
A. Most minsters prefer this because some forget it on the wedding date.

There are many other questions. Ask.

More Q and A’s, see our web page at www.paschalbaute.com/wedding. Telephone *(859) 293-5302

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